Pregnancy and motherhood are transformative experiences that bring joy, challenges, and immense change. For me, the journey was more than just a physical transition—it was a profound awakening to my neurodiverse identity. This is the story of how I navigated pregnancy and motherhood with undiagnosed ADHD and autism, the hurdles I faced, and how I found strength through understanding and advocacy.
The Early Days: A Blur of Anxiety and Overwhelm
When I gave birth to my first son, I felt like my world had been placed under a magnifying glass. Every sensation, every emotion was amplified to a degree I couldn’t manage. Anxiety gripped me tightly, and the first few months of his life passed in a fog of overwhelm. At the time, I didn’t know I had ADHD. I just thought I was different—somehow less capable than others. I felt completely useless as a mother.
Looking back now, I recognise the signs. ADHD left me struggling to manage the immense sensory and emotional demands of motherhood. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of tasks, expectations, and emotions, and it was only years later, after being diagnosed, that I understood what was truly happening.
The Hidden Struggles of Neurodiverse Pregnancy
Research shows that women with ADHD face increased risks during pregnancy, including complications such as preeclampsia and early labour. They’re also more likely to experience heightened anxiety and postpartum depression. This resonates deeply with my own experiences, where anxiety coloured every aspect of my pregnancies.
Autistic women, too, face unique challenges during pregnancy. Studies indicate they are more likely to experience complications such as preeclampsia, preterm birth, and even fatal loss. Sensory sensitivities can make interactions with healthcare providers overwhelming. Bright lights, unexpected touches, and dismissive attitudes can exacerbate stress, leaving women feeling isolated and misunderstood.
For me, the sensory overload was relentless. Every noise from my newborn, every unexpected event, felt like an assault on my system. Without understanding my neurodiversity at the time, I blamed myself, convinced that I was simply failing at motherhood.
Finding the Strength to Seek Help
One of the darkest moments of my journey came when I drove to a Time Line Therapy® session with a suicide note tucked in my handbag when I was 8 weeks pregnant with my second child.. I had tried everything—medication, counselling, self-help books—but nothing seemed to work. At home, I had a loving husband and a beautiful seven-year-old, but I felt trapped and utterly hopeless.
Mental ill-health doesn’t discriminate. It can strike even when life looks perfect from the outside. In hindsight, this moment marked a turning point. That session began to unravel the layers of pain and misunderstanding I had carried for so long. It reminded me that seeking help is not a weakness; it’s an act of strength.
Advocacy and Awareness: The Path Forward
The years since my diagnoses of ADHD and autism have been transformative. I’ve learned the importance of advocating for myself and others, especially neurodiverse women navigating pregnancy and motherhood. Understanding the unique challenges we face is the first step toward creating better support systems.
Neurodiverse women often need tailored care and strategies to manage the heightened challenges of pregnancy. These can include:
- Early Screening and Intervention: Mental health checks during pregnancy and postpartum can help address issues before they escalate.
- Supportive Healthcare Environments: Sensory-friendly spaces and empathetic healthcare providers can make a significant difference for autistic women.
- Mind-Body Approaches: Techniques like hypnobirthing, reflexology, and mindfulness can reduce stress and improve emotional resilience.
Building Inner Belief: My Mission
Reflecting on my journey, I now channel my experiences into empowering others. Through Inner Belief, I offer webinars and holistic workshops to help individuals navigate fertility, pregnancy, and motherhood. My goal is to create a supportive space where people feel heard, understood, and equipped with the tools they need to thrive.
From antenatal classes to holistic fertility techniques, I aim to provide resources that cater to neurodiverse needs. Whether it’s teaching hypnobirthing to reduce fear and anxiety or offering reflexology to promote physical and emotional balance, my work is about helping others avoid the pitfalls I faced.
Breaking the Stigma
One of the hardest aspects of my journey was the judgement I faced from others. When I was absent from work due to peri-natal depression,When I shared my pregnancy news at work, I was told by my pregnant manager that I was a “disgrace to pregnant women.” Such dismissive and harmful attitudes are, sadly, not uncommon, but they must change. We need a cultural shift that recognises and supports the diverse experiences of neurodiverse women during pregnancy.
A Message to Other Neurodiverse Mothers
If you’re navigating pregnancy or motherhood with ADHD, autism, or another neurodiverse condition, know this: you are not alone. Your feelings and experiences are valid. It’s okay to ask for help, to advocate for yourself, and to seek out the support you need.
Establishing a predictable routine, finding healthcare providers who understand neurodiversity, and connecting with supportive communities can make a world of difference. And if you ever feel like you’re drowning, remember there is hope. I’m living proof that even in the darkest moments, light can be found.
Continuing the Conversation
My journey is why I do what I do today. It’s why I run webinars to raise awareness about holistic fertility and hypnobirthing techniques. It’s why I share my story—to help others avoid the despair I felt. Together, we can create a world where neurodiverse women are supported, understood, and celebrated during pregnancy and beyond. Let’s keep the conversation going. Share your stories, advocate for change, and join the movement for better care and understanding of neurodiverse experiences in motherhood. Because no one should have to navigate this journey alone.